“Coercive Control” changes the conversation about domestic violence
By Anne Grant
Connecticut legislators enacted “Jennifers’ Law” in June 2021. It is named for two mothers, who each paid the ultimate price trying to protect herself and her family: Jennifer Magnano, murdered in 2007, and Jennifer Dulos in 2019. They and their eight children had been trapped for years in a maze of sadistic household rules and threats imposed by controlling fathers and systematically enforced through relentless court proceedings. State authorities failed to hold either man accountable, labeling the cases with a misguided term: “high conflict.”
Sociologist Evan Stark coined the correct term in his 2007 book, “Coercive Control: The Entrapment of Women in Personal Life.” His insight about patterns of threatening behavior that hold women and children hostage has finally changed the global conversation about domestic violence.
Connecticut State Senator Alex Kasser, a lawyer and protective mother, introduced Jennifers’ Law and shepherded it through nearly twelve hours of virtual public hearings. On the wall behind her, an iconic portrait of Ruth Bader Ginsburg inspired witnesses. With a warmly reassuring smile, Kasser questioned witnesses, including many members of Connecticut Protective Moms, to make sure the Senate Judiciary Committee understood the inescapable terror of coercive control.
In October 2021, Engendered Collective hosted an international online conference that brought together lawyers, researchers, psychotherapists, and survivors. California State Senator Susan Rubio spoke as a legislator and former teacher, who had witnessed coercive control among teenagers before she recognized it in her own intimate relationship. Her state, as well as Hawaii and Connecticut, have passed laws against coercive control, as have Scotland, England, and Wales. Australia, Colorado, and Maryland introduced bills in 2021.
At the conference, a Canadian software developer described an app that his late wife used to track her healthcare data. His program helps protective mothers track real-time evidence of coercive control and store it safely in the cloud. A North Carolina police chief witnessed domestic violence against his mother as a child and designed a tiered method in his department to dramatically reduce domestic abuse crimes.
As the conference concluded, Jennifer Magnano’s three children, now grown, told their story. They had finally escaped from Connecticut to California, only to have a judge order them to return. Police agreed to search their house but not the apartment downstairs, where their father lurked and soon made good on his threat to shoot their mother.
Around the world, patriarchal attempts to control women and children remain powerful and often deadly. In the United States, a federal mandate to “reunify” families drives many child-protective agencies, guardians ad litem, civil courts, and their preferred clinicians to reinforce fathers’ coercive control. A Massachusetts lawyer reminded the conference that the U.S. and Somalia are the only countries that still refuse to ratify the UN Convention on the Rights of the Child, scorning the protective charter as “interference” with family life.
The effort to pass laws that prioritize children’s safety by addressing coercive control has grown in many countries. Norwegian filmmaker Elle Kamihira has put together an international team to produce the animated film, “Jennifer, 42,” that tells the story of the Magnano family from the children’s point of view.
The first phase of their million-dollar budget requires $30,000 to complete the animatics and storyboards at Studio Pupil in the Netherlands. After that, the multi-step animation process will include sound design and music scoring with independent studios in Europe and the US.
A prospective funding partner is ready to join with others to complete this vision. Those who donate at least $5,000 will be credited as producers, and those giving $10,000 or more as executive producers. Tax deductible donations may be made through Women Make Movies. Ms. Kamihira anticipates nine months in production once the budget is raised.
Film has a unique ability to open a window into unfamiliar worlds. Like the ground-shifting legislation, this film, “Jennifer, 42,” will spread new understanding about coercive control and help to protect families from the terror of domestic abuse.
Anne Grant was executive director of the Women’s Center of Rhode Island (1988–1996), when she also served in the RI Coalition Against Domestic Violence and wrote the “Overcoming Abuse” column in the Providence Journal.
